Agent Washington Takes Off His Helmet
by Orange-Moon-Goddess
Summary: ... and sees a terrible thing one day, as he delivers coffee to his friends in the morning.


Coffee

A/N: My friend saw this post on Tumblr. It was a request for a fanfiction where Maine would wear something and no one would object because they would be too afraid. Whoever you are, brilliant idea and here you go ;)

._.

Agent Washington hummed as he poured freshly-brewed coffee into the first of several mugs on his tray. It was early in the morning and all of his fellow freelancers were just waking up. Wash had woken up for his morning training- and by morning, he meant at _three in the morning when normal people were asleep_- and decided to do something nice for his friends. They had all returned from a rather grueling mission, and Wash thought it would be nice for his friends to wake up to a steaming hot mug of coffee the next day. He knew what it was like to have to force oneself out of bed and then drag oneself to all the way to the nearest kitchen for food.

He picked up the tray from the counter and exited the cafeteria to go to his first stop: York's room. Since he was the closest and the most tolerant at this time, York was on top of the list of people to visit. Wash wasn't sure about going around without his helmet (since his friends had never seen him without it before) but he at least kept his armor on so they would recognize him. Other than Tex, he was the only person in their small group that hadn't shown their face.

When he reached York's room, he was faced with a small dilemma. He needed two hands to carry the tray, but he _also_ needed to knock on the door. At a loss as to what to do, Wash stood there helplessly. He looked back and forth between the obstacle and his coffee tray, but was saved from having to do anything when the door opened for him.

"Yeah, what do you-" came the tired voice of York, barely dressed and without his armor. The freelancer stopped immediately when he saw Wash, blinking in surprise and checking the color of the armor to make sure it was who he thought it was. "Wash?" he exclaimed. "Is that you?"

Nodding in response, Wash lifted his tray for York to see. "Yeah, I got up early to make everyone coffee. Do you want some?"

York only stared.

"You're not wearing your helmet," he gasped in disbelief. He quickly shook himself out of his shock and accepted one of the mugs gratefully.

Wash tilted his head to the side. Was his lack of a helmet really that stunning?

York shrugged and brought the coffee mug up to his lips to take a sip. He rubbed his eyes and shifted, leaning against the wall while he examined Wash. Eventually he seemed to accept the fact that Wash was indeed human and had a face.

"You should keep your helmet off more often," he drawled and gave his friend a smile. "You look good; I bet you'll pick up all the ladies like that." Then he turned away to disappear into his room, adding to himself under his breath, "_And probably a couple guys too, don't know if he swings that way though…"_

With the first visit out of the way, Wash said goodbye and travelled down the hall to find the Dakota twins' room. He was a little scared, hoping North would be the one to open the door. He got just that.

"JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE WANT AT THIS UNGODLY HOU- oh, hi there Wash."

Frightened, Washington took a step back from the angry (_formerly_ angry) Dakota twin. He hadn't expected North to even have an angry side, and it certainly came as a surprise to him. He wondered to himself if North kept all of his negative feelings suppressed and if that calm side of his was really a lie. Still, he was terrified by witnessing the normally calm North switch from pissed off to cheerful within the matter of seconds.

His hands shook as he offered one of the mugs to North, who accepted the caffeine. North called for his sister, who (more surprise) wasn't her cranky self. She was even quiet as she took her coffee, said her thanks and retreated back into the small apartment. Washington didn't want to be left alone with North, but South closed her room's door. Wash could have sworn he was trembling in his armor at that moment.

North was dressed in track pants and a grey, cotton shirt. His blond hair was slightly tousled, and he was dressed like he was about to go workout. Wash shivered when the (seemingly) carefree freelancer threw his arm around his shoulders to walk with him.

"Thanks for the coffee, Wash," the tired man thanked him, taking a gulp of his coffee. North looked exhausted with bags under his eyes and he let out a yawn to further show the world how tired he was.

But Washington was too afraid at the moment to respond, because at the very end of the hall was their good… _friend_, Agent Maine.

Maine stood with at the end of the hall with his back to them, conversing with his AI via hissing sounds. Wash froze in place, but not because he was scared of Maine. Truth be told, he was (probably the only person in this godforsaken place) on friendly grounds with Agent Maine. No, what scared him was what was on Maine's face.

Yellow tinted sunglasses.

He was afraid of yellow tinted sunglasses.

It was an irrational fear, yes, but Agent Washington didn't care. Yellow sunglasses were fucking scary.

Washington was so scared, that he nearly dropped the coffee tray. North noticed his hesitation, and glanced over at the cause of his fear.

"Is that Maine?" North let go of Washington and stepped forward for a better look, and then saw the yellow sunglasses. He fell silent and backed away slowly, pushing Washington along to get out of there.

"I'm scared," Washington whispered to North, who hurried to get them out of there.

North nodded sympathetically. "I know, Wash. I know you're scared, but-"

"HISSSSSSS."

"Holy shit!" Washington screamed.

Maine appeared before them and hissed at them menacingly. Washington glanced at North and then nervously to his tray. He had planned on giving Maine a mug, but he hadn't expected to run into him like this.

Awkwardly, Wash forced himself to approach Maine and offered the agent coffee. Wordlessly, Maine took his mug, but decided to tag along with them. Washington didn't comment on the glasses while he delivered the rest of the coffee, doing his best to ignore them.

No one said anything about the glasses. Whenever he visited his friends, there was a friendly introduction, but then they would see Maine lurking in the background with the yellow horror. Eyes would bulge, jaws would drop, and he even got a womanly scream from Wyoming. Carolina pretended she didn't see Maine, and Tex turned down the coffee offer when she saw him (Maine) but said "thank you" anyways.

No one said anything about how ridiculous Maine looked with the glasses. They were either too scared, or believed they were hallucinating. North left after awhile, claiming he had to go do "something." Traitor.

Thus, Agent Washington was abandoned by his friend and left to deal with the yellow sunglass-wearing freelancer.

._.

END

I feel bad for Washington xD

I don't know about you guys, but I can just see him doing stuff like delivering coffee :) At least, before the Epsilon implant.

Review? :)


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